You Can't Spreadsheet Your Way Through Childbirth

In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the wild, beautiful, and totally unscripted story of Achint’s birth story.

You’ll hear how the best-laid birth plan met real life… and real life won. From checklists to the unexpected twists that no one could have predicted, this is a story about what happens when a Type A personality has to surrender control in the most intense way possible.

Spoiler: not everything went as planned. The timeline shifted, the interventions changed, and the vibe went from “calm, zen goddess” to “okay, so we’re just doing whatever now.” Somewhere between contractions and conversations with the doctor, there was a moment of letting go, of the plan, the perfectionism, and the idea that you can spreadsheet your way through childbirth. 

If you’re a planner, a control enthusiast, or someone who just loves an honest, unfiltered story, this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

He works for their psyche. And that's another reason when you're advanced maternal age, they already have like a label for you.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

And he's like, okay, well, we need to do an induction. And I was like, what? Why?

SPEAKER_01 0:14

The acupuncturist told her to knock it back.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to Advanced Maternal Age. Real and raw talk from pregnancy, labor, 3 AM trenches, and the messy magic of motherhood. Fertility conception, surprise turns, and the acronyms no one asked for. Whether you're tracking your cycle, cuddling a newborn, or figuring out what's next, you're in the right place. I'm a chint. I'm Meredith. We're your co-pilots on this AMA ride. This is advanced maternal age.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

We're doing two different things today. We're in two different podcasts. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know. This is the mom, this is mom world. Okay, so we're back. I'm no longer pregnant. Yay! We have another baby. I know. Okay, so we're gonna do a chintz birth story today. Here is postpartum hair. A chint's postpartum hair falling now. Postpartum hair falling. It's very, it's very appropriate for this, uh, for this episode. So let's start with maybe like back up a little bit before like like going to the hospital. Like tell everyone kind of your a loose bit, like your journey being pregnant. Yeah. And then, because I honestly forgot if we talked about like you having like gestational diabetes or not. I think we might have done that. But that kind of like goes into why you made the choices you made. Exactly. So okay, so kind of like let's start there.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Sure, yeah. I mean, overall my pregnancy was great. Honestly, like uh we were kind of blessed to not have. I mean, I know you had certain things that happened during yours as well, and I had certain conditions as well, but like we generally had really good pregnancies. I can't say No, we did for sure.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, even from the beginning, I didn't really have like severe like morning sickness or nausea or anything like that. I definitely had like food aversions and that type of thing. Early on in my first trimester, too, like nothing really fragrant. Like, as I am Indian and I cook a lot of Indian food, like obviously we have spices, we put like the garlic, ginger, onions and everything, everything like that. And I was like, I can't. Like, I can't have anything like even when it came to like like fettuccine alfredo, like anything that had any sort of aroma, I was like, no, forget it. So I was basically living like a little charcuterie, like a little like girl dinner every single night. I was having charcuterie.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

She's over here eating charcuterie when they tell you not to eat the the deli meat. She's eating deli meat and soft cheese the whole time. Hopefully, our OB is not less.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

I mean, no, I only had deli meat. I think one. Who cares? Honestly. I was like very laxed. I must say I was so laxed.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

My hairstylist told me the funniest thing when I was pregnant. She's like, listen, my baby was raised on a turkey sandwich.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

But I was like avoiding the actual meat part of like she could. I always basically had crackers, cheese, dates, yeah, all of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

I love a good charcuterie idea. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

So I would have like a lot of fruit, a lot of crackers, a lot of that. Yogurt was a lot of things. Like very well, what you would give like kids when they're like first starting food. Like all those like bland things.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

It all comes full circle.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

Yeah, exactly. Like I felt like I was having just like a lunchable every single day.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So yeah, I was like, so you didn't have your pregnancy was good. And then even though you had quote unquote gestational diabetes, your numbers were low, they weren't crazy through the roots.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

The mark by like whatever, like how yours was like I think it was maybe by five or something. But it's really interesting. So Meredith and I are like one of those we are those people that hire for anything that will support our mental sanity, emotional.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Yeah, we'll pay to play with the mental health for sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yeah, yeah. So, like when I I am like a thicker girl, right? So I was like the biggest fear I ever had, but even before getting pregnant, is like, holy shit, like I cannot afford to gain like 40 pounds, like that cannot be me. And I was like, I really need to be very careful about not putting on weight and the gestational diabetes. I've always been like borderline on my thyroid, borderline on my A1C. Like it's always been a little borderline. It's never been like high. But because I have PCOS, there have been times in my life that I'm on metformin, I'm off of metformin and all of that. So I kind of knew like this could be a very obvious thing that was happening. It's not like one of those things, like you, you're like so healthy, you're always working out. For you to get it, it's like, oh, what the hell? Right. So it was very much like up my alley, and I knew that it could have been a very, it just would have happened with me. So you weren't surprised. Yeah, I was not gonna be surprised, but I was really like uh trying to be like conscious about it. So I was working with an acupuncturist. She actually was the reason why I got pregnant. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

So, like Yeah, we're gonna do an episode all about like Eastern and Western practices when it comes to pregnancy and like what we did in combination because we did different things that maybe most people didn't do. Cause I feel like you probably got this too. I got it all the time when I would tell people all the things I was doing, and they would just like, wow, you're just so prepared. And I'm like, it just comes naturally because this would I do. I did this stuff before I was pregnant. Yeah, exactly. Just when you're pregnant, you seek out people who specialize in pregnant women. But I was already doing the acupuncture, the Reiki, all the things.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

I had hired a dietitian during my pregnancy. It's this guy that I've already worked with before. He's a psychonutritionist. He works with your psyche. So, like, you know, it's beyond just like giving you a meal plan and making sure you're doing your macros and your micronutrients and this, that. He will actually kind of do like more like therapy treatments on you, too. Like it's kind of having a therapist in conjunction with like a nutritionist dietitian. So I was working with him, I had my acupuncturist. They were both like when I would tell them my numbers, they were like, they're not gestational diabetes numbers and they're not even diabetic numbers.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

No, it's definitely a Western thing. It's just big pharma and like big medical covering their ass.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah, it's 100%.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

And that's another reason when you're advanced maternal age, they already like have like a label for you.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

They both warned me about this, and now it is actually impacting my child. Well, I know they always say this like if you have gestational diabetes, your baby could be big, could be small, whatever, whatever. But like the slow weight gain and all of that stuff, it's indicative because like I was basically being shot up with more insulin than I needed, according to traditional Chinese medication and India's numbers, right? But like here, they were just like upping my insulin, upping my insulin. And my dietitian had warned me, he's like, your child is gonna have to face the consequences of what you're doing to your body at this point. And because I just took my child to the acupuncturist, she said the same exact thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

And so, yeah, but I mean, I had these people, but anyways, according to like American guidelines, I was considered gestational diabetes, but I only literally put on like 12 pounds during the entire pregnancy, which was basically the child and the amniotic fluid and whatever. Oh wow, you're lucky.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

I put on a lot more than that.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Well, you had a great starting point. I feel like my starting point was not great to begin with, right? I have to like remind people, I'm like, yeah, but like, did you see me before I got pregnant? Well, my dietitian was like, Well, if you weren't eating those like, you know, fudge brownies and that pasta that you had three times and the Mexican food, because I would like tell I had to tell him like all the times that I didn't suck a dick. He was like, Fudge brownies. You love a fudge brownie. Save yourself three points. I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

So flash forward, you then had to go, you're what was it? Is it MMA? No, that's a yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Then they triggered me for yeah, uh no, it's MFMA, mixed martial arts. No, yeah. So then I had to do MFA. Martial arts. Yeah, M Fm. Now I'm like AMA plus high risk.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Now she's high risk, MFM. So she's got two acronyms against her name on her telephone.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

And then I had to go to like my gestational diabetes. If you're labeled high risk at all, you're going in like for your doctor's appointment, then you gotta go in twice a week and blah, blah, blah, and then get your ultrasounds done and like the what is it? That like the recording that they do. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Oh, I don't know. I never knew what that was, but it was like a thing at the end where they do this, it's like a monitoring of your baby's heartbeat and your contractions at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Lord knows. I just said MMA.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

My mom brain is like really we're not gonna get it.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

It's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is, whatever. That the monitor.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Everyone who's had a kid is like screaming at us in their cars right now, like, it's got this. Yeah, sorry, we can't.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

We obviously can't.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

We don't know what it is, so we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

So yeah, like I had to do all of that.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

So basically, you had, okay, so you had MFM, and then towards the end of the pregnancy, when did the doctor tell you you probably are gonna need to, when did he start talking to you about induction?

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Yeah, like it was like chill the whole time, honestly. And then he would be like, Oh, what did MFM say? And I'm like, I don't know, nothing. Like the doctor would not even see me. Like they would just like send them like the reports and be like, this is our ultrasound, this is that. As long as everything is okay, the doctor doesn't really come and ever see you. They only come see you like want to adjust your insulin, right? The thing is that I have a Dexcom. So like it's so rudimentary at this place that you go to here because they'll give you like a sheet, like we're in 1990. They'll be like, write down all of your numbers. You're like fast. Oh, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

That's not like through a portal or something.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

I mean, I have the DEXCOM so they can actually read my senses.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Oh, right, right, right. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

So I can't necessarily just like make up numbers because they check those numbers against they will.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Imagine you make up numbers and they're like, ma'am, these are wrong. What was it? Like week 36 or 37 that the OBGIN was like, I think we need to do an injection.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Yeah. So he basically was like week 37. So we do like the cervical exam on week 36, fucking painful as hell. And I didn't feel it at all, though.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

So I don't know what that says about me.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Oh, I will tell you why. Okay, well, she's figured out to the pelvic floor therapist.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

She's figured out why.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Yeah, we figured out why. Thanks to the pelvic floor therapist.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

So we go ahead and oh, good, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

She said I'm too tight up there. It's the problem. Well, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Apparently, I'm not. So, what does that say about me?

SPEAKER_02 10:48

No, no, no. She did explain that there's like all of your muscles and your nerve endings, not just inside, but also outside, can contribute. So she's like, people think like after a delivery. Well, we'll have to explain this in a different episode. But basically, it's like people think that after a delivery, everything is just loose, right? Because you've been broken into, or your muscles, you're not working out, blah, blah, blah. She's like, that doesn't always mean like, no. She's like, there are muscles that sometimes even through trauma, they're just a little bit tight. Through pregnancy, they're tight or working out or something. And that tightness will cause other muscles or other ligaments to get loose, or those ones are tight, and then something else is loose. So when she like basically went in and did the whole exam or whatever, by the way, our pelvic floor therapist will actually go inside. It's intervaginal. It's intravaginal. So she just recently did that, and she was like, No, it's because you are you know with the Kegels, that muscle, apparently, I just always have it clenched. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Okay. So that's why the children's chance husbands living the good life, is what everyone needs to know. So when he checked you then, that's when he thought induction.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

No, it's because something happened. So the doctors never saw me. I would go in for MFM, and then week 37, I go in, everything looks good. The OBGYNs do meet with MFM in person.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Okay, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Because uh, you know, he would ask me, like, what did MFM say? I'm like, what did MFF say to you? And he's like, Well, I met them, they know about your case. And I was like, Well, did they bring it up to you? And he's like, No, there were other high-risk patients that we had to discuss. Yours wasn't one of them. So I was like, then we're good, doc. You know, like what are we telling like what are we concerned about? What are we talking about here? So at week 37, MFM, they do their notes. I don't check them and they write something about like patient is doing well, but obviously gestational diabetes numbers are controlled. Recommendation for induction at week 38. So I go in at week 37, the day after, or like later that day, something, whatever, within that same week as week 37, meet with the OBGYN, and he's like, Okay, well, we need to do an induction. And I was like, What? Why? Because I didn't look at my notes.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

And look at the notes, people. That's the takeaway.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, look at the notes. Because I'm like, they didn't say anything to me. That's weird.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

I don't, I don't get that.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

And he was like, What do you mean? And he's like, they didn't talk. I was like, Doc, like I'm telling you, the MFM doctors do not come and see me. I they they review my that's crazy, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

And then they just like put whatever they want to do.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

And then they tell the nurses she's good to go. And then I leave. I was like, I literally have not seen the doctor since like week 34 or something. And then he was like, Okay, well, they wrote it in your notes, and I was like, they did. And I was like, why? Everything is controlled. And I I couldn't understand that. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, Well, it's gestational, you know, it's it's they're gonna take it.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

They just didn't want you to keep with insulin, basically.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

With insulin when you're gestational diabetes, there's always this a risk of your child being too big, and as we know, like you can't guarantee the weight from like the ultrasound. My child was already trending like 30 at the 30th percentile in size. So I was like, this child's not big to begin with. Right. Like, why are we doing this?

SPEAKER_01 14:21

There's no way you were ever giving birth to a large child.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

No, and I I wasn't showing it, and like I kept on saying that to the doctor, and he's like, Yeah, well, we don't ever know what comes out. And then after they like, there's this thing about like, oh, once you hit week 40, the babies are supposed to gain like half a pound every single week or something. He's like, with the gestational diabetes, those children at that time later on, they end up doubling in size and they gain weight like really fast. And I was like, but isn't that for uncontrolled diabetes, which I do not have? Like, my numbers are controlled. And he's like, Yeah, well, they've increased your insulin a little bit. I'm like, I know, but still, right? Like, why? And it was just like all that questioning. I was going to hypnobirth in class at that time, right? So they like kind of help you prep for advocating for yourself. So I was definitely advocating for myself.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Anyone listening, you have to advocate for yourself. You have to educate yourself. That's like the biggest takeaway. Uh-huh. You really do.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

And I felt really, I think even though I ended up, you know, with a C-section, I did not do the hypno burning, like hypnoburgney. Yes, spoiler alert. That class definitely helped me prepare a lot for asking and pushing back on the doctors when they're pushing you to the induction.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Right. Let's also talk about why you didn't want the induction too, because of the cancer baby of it all.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Okay, so yeah. Again, no judge.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

This is a no judgment zone, people.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

So, like, let's back up to the NIPT. I find out. So I've always wanted a this is like this is gonna be like a huge trigger. I'm pretty sure. Like people trigger warning for trigger warning, and also I don't even know what the trigger warning is, but it's a trigger warning.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Like, people might just get upset about this.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah, people are gonna get upset, people are gonna get really upset about this, and like we're probably gonna have like there's gonna be flame wars in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

We might have some hate, yeah. But hopefully people listen to it all and then they understand. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

Yeah, and like we can jump back to that. But basically, I really wanted a girl, I found out I had a boy, there was gender disappointment, and then it became like a whole spiral for me that I was like, oh no, my son's gonna be a cancer baby and can't be a cancer. I don't want my boy to be a cancer baby.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

We're talking about um astrological science, not like the disease cancer, yeah, yeah. Just so everyone understands, yeah, exactly. Because I feel like some people aren't into horoscopes. Like a lot of people I talk to, they're not into they know nothing about that at all. But we're both very into it.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah, exactly. And so I basically was like, okay, if I'm gonna.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

If you had the induction, you would have been a cancer baby. If you went to your due date, it would have been a Leo.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

If I had gone to no, it would have been on the cusp. And he's still always a cusper. Yeah. He's still a cusper. He's still a cusper. But I was we'll try to channel that Leo because I was doing so well and I was so clueless because they were like, oh, great, you're doing fine, blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, I'm gonna hold up until July 23rd. So he's gonna be born as a true Leo. And even though Leo men are super toxic, but I was like, listen, emotional baby versus a lion baby. Everybody's like, you're spiraling, you're spiraling. On top of Artie have been like upset about like, oh, why am I having it's not the boy, it was the boy first, right? I was like, oh, she wanted a girl first. Really always wanted a girl first.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Which is a hot take, because I feel like a lot of people, well, that's not true. I shouldn't say a lot of people, but culturally in Indian culture, you having a boy first was like a was good. Like everyone loved that.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

I will say when my mom told people that I had a boy, we definitely got those comments. Of course. So, like even when I was pregnant, I would get those comments from people like if I went to the temple, the acupuncturist office, and you know, different, different people culturally in our parents' generation. But when they would find out that I was having a boy, I definitely got those like I got the oogles.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Like, thank God, yes, bless you. Blessings on blessings, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Yeah, that type of thing. And honestly, as sweet as it was, I actually would feel really bad for myself. And that's that you didn't feel that way. And a little bit of that, it wasn't so much of that. It was almost like, what would that reaction have been if I had a girl? And why is it that those people that had girls, like, why would people not want that? Because I want that so badly. Yeah, I'm gonna like I like die for like my friends that have girls, and I'm always like, oh my God, you're like, it's gonna be the cutest fucking thing ever. Like, yeah, their girls are crazy, but like, you know, emotionally and mentally, right? But like they're like, you know, that's what I've wanted.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

So I would feel bad in the sense of not like, oh, like wondering if you would have gotten that same excitement reaction if you told them you were having a girl.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

I know, actually, culturally, I would have never gotten that reaction. And I almost would have been so okay with it. It was almost like I was feeling bad that I was getting this type of reaction because I was like, what about those people that carried girls? That's actually how it goes. Yeah, because like, you know, we have a family member who has, you know, two daughters, and she has definitely mentioned that to me that when I got pregnant with my second daughter, people made those comments of, oh, it would have been good if you had a boy. And I like my heart broke for her.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Punch someone.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Someone said that's my heart broke for her because I was like, oh my God, like my dream was to have two girls.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Yeah. And so it it never felt like a blessing to me, even when people were saying it. It was really nice, it was a nice gesture, but it was it never felt that way for me because I was literally like my heart was breaking for everybody that I knew that had a girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like so weird because now I was getting reactions that I never expected, on top of already being like so low-key about the pregnancy that I was like, yeah, whatever, I'm pregnant, you know? Like I was very much like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

So, okay, so you find out that it's definitely gonna be a cancer glio cusp baby. But then originally he's saying induction, but talk about why you weren't keen on induction.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Yeah, so I wasn't keen on induction. I basically wanted to go into labor and give myself enough time to go into labor before I had like a D date on the calendar. And I was like, Well, how do I do this if they're forcing me for an induction? Right. And he was like, Listen, we can push it out. I think I went back the following week and then he was like, Okay, so like we're gonna put you on the calendar for this week, like later this week for an induction. I was like, Doc, like I already told you, we're not doing an induction. Like, I'm not doing an induction. I see no reason for me to do an induction from a medical standpoint.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Okay, so let's talk about it because I feel like I remember a little bit. Your concern was this that if you do the induction, it because of what he started to see with your pelvic floor, that you were tight, that there's a high chance that you could have done the induction. So for those who don't know, there's a couple of ways that you can do it, where is they give you either a drug cyto doch cytotech, or they give you the balloon.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

And that will happen too, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Well, usually they do one or the other because the cytotech, there's no coming back. The cytotech, because I didn't do cytotech, cytotech, there's no coming back. Once they give it to you, you're you're on for the races. Like they can't reverse it, but the balloon they can take out. And the other thing that they give you with the balloon, yeah, and then the pitocin, same thing, they can turn the pitocin off and it stops. Like once they turn the drip off, you're done.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

So they're cytotech, the balloon, then they break pitocin, then they break your water. Generally, unless the balloon breaks the water for you. Yeah. But the balloon is just to do your cervix. So, anyway, I think I recall you telling me the reasons why you didn't want the induction was because there was a high likelihood that you were going to run into, you would do all of this stuff and feel and then you would still have to end up with a c-section. Yeah. And you're basically your body would have been spent and very exhausted. And then essentially you're recovering from two things. You're recovering from an attempt at a natural vaginal birth, but then you're also recovering from at that point, would have been considered an emergency C-section. And that's a lot of trauma. So your mindset was like, if I either have to do induction or C-section, let me just schedule the C.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Well, yeah, the pitocin has always freaked me out. And then because I was doing that whole hypnobirthing class, and there was something inside of me that was truly saying, like, I really felt internally that I was like an early induction, somehow, because of so many people that I had talked to, had led them to an emergency C-section. I will do an induction 40 weeks post, but I will not do a hospital that we were at. I really don't believe that your baby is ready to come out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

But also I think we both kind of subscribed to this idea that, like, okay, if there's a medical keyword is medical need. If there's a medical need to be induced, if there's a medical need for a C-section, okay, we're not sitting here saying we're trying to play God because there's a reason for it. But I think both of us were like through Reiki, through acupuncture, through all these things, we believe in like natural healing that things happen in their own time. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

And you don't want to feel that the body was not ready.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

You don't want to force them out. Like you want them to feel like they came when they were ready. So felt strongly. Oh, I did so much Reiki, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Like people have to realize like the amount of Reiki and acupuncture, the amount of healing.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

The acupuncturist told her to not come back.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

So I have two of them, by the way. He said, do not the one we shared told her, You've been here three times this week, do not come back.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Yeah, he literally was, and oh my god. Did he do an intense session? Because I went to him, I went to mine, and then I went to him again, and he was like, This is a lot. Like we're we're playing with a lot of energy in your body.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Yeah, you have to be careful because you don't want to overstimulate.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Did I not get all the pre-labor signs? Like I got so violently ill with the fever after I was like dead from that night on and onwards. And I was like, oh my God. And I could feel the baby pushing, I could feel everything. I knew at week 38 the baby's not ready to come out. He's too tiny, he's chilling. Like, let's not do this. But basically, when he did the cervical exam at week 38, he was like, dude, you're so closed, first of all. Whatever an ideal pelvic floor is, he's like, you're a little bit inverted and narrow. And he's like, and what I think is gonna happen is that even if we do the induction, whether it's now or later, he's like, and the issue with later is that your baby's gonna be bigger and it's definitely not gonna pass through your vaginal canal. So I'd rather you do an induction and pass through a smaller baby if you really want a vaginal birth, which it seems like you want. I was like, Doc, I understand, but you basically said that you don't feel like my pelvic floor is real enough. And I'm already doing Webster's technique. I'm already going to like a chiropractor, I'm already like having them try to open up my hips and do all of these things. And he was like, keep doing it, but like at it's 38 weeks. It doesn't seem like it's gonna be opening up anytime soon, you know? Right. I was like, you're saying pretty confidently after these many years that this type of situation that you are feeling in my pelvic floor seems like an emergency C-section situation. So why don't I schedule a C-section? And he was like, okay, and I was like, I will do everything in my power to go into labor naturally, and and I hope I can. I'm not gonna go in and be zooted up with Cytotech and Pitocin and then go into labor that way. I was like, it's either I go into labor naturally because the baby was ready and I will help the baby get ready, or yeah, like we're just gonna do the C-section. And oh my god, the amount of Reiki that I did that last week, I was spiraling. My husband was doing Reiki on me, I think like three times a day. And he was literally talking to the baby. He was not talking to me, he was like trying to prep the baby to be like, you have a due date and your mom is worried for you. And they would have conversations, which is like wild. My husband was trying to tell him to prep himself to come out. My son apparently talked to him and was like, Okay, I have some things that I need to take care of. So he was like trying to prep himself to come. Um, but it was like I could feel all of that happening. It's just that, yeah, like I would walk and he would engage, but the minute I would lie down, he couldn't engage. And when they did the C-section, you know, the doctor walked out after. And when he walked out, he was like, next time, only C-section. We're not doing an induction on you because he was like, You would never have been able to deliver. And I think actually, also one thing that really helped me prep for that C-section was the fact that ironically, my doula was a doula that ended up in two emergency C-sections.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

So, like when I was even at the hospital the morning of the C-section and they had done like the cerebral exam, they're like, This is your effacement, this is your this, this, this, this. They were like, it's three days out before you're even gonna give a birth with like where you are with your dilation and all of that. And she basically was like, just do the c-section. She there's no point of doing it. I told the doctor that. I was like, fuck that. I'm not going in for a doctor. I told him straight up, I was like, you are not gonna see me going in for an induction and doing this for three days, five days, or whatever. I was like, I'm going in, I'm having the baby because I'm already in labor, but I'm having the c section. And he actually told me that. He's like, and I'm glad that I happened that manifestation, folks.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

It's real. Let me tell you. Oh, yeah. Also, your plan to have a kid, a second kid is pretty soon. It's not like you're gonna wait six years. And he won't, most doctors these days won't do a V back unless you wait at least four years between two years, I think now or something. I don't know, but I feel like ours probably wouldn't unless it was at least four. But in any case, but he is he came, he's a healthy boy. But I feel like yours was, I mean, there it's different than mine. And I think that it was very interesting to watch you go through it before me. And it was helpful for me. People will learn more why it was helpful for me later. But the best advice I could give to people is if you are able to find somebody who you can go through the journey with. And we were lucky that we're friends and we had the bond. But even if you don't have a friend, even if it's like joining the moms to be groups in your town or something, my mom said that to us the other day like, it is a blessing to have somebody go through, and you know, she's three months ahead of me in all of it. So it's also fun because it's not to say I don't have other friends that have had kids before, but they did it a long time ago.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Together, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Yeah, like we're going through it now and we're going through it as like advanced all age people. So a lot of this stuff that we're going through, we can relate to each other. And I think that that has been really helpful. Yeah. Like, well, this has been amazing. So tune in next week for my crazy ride of a birth story. Okay, thank you.