The Journey of a Baby Nurse

In this episode, Achint and Meredith sit down with the legendary Mrs. Rose a.k.a. The Baby Whisperer, the woman who quite literally saved their sanity as the personal baby nurse for both of their sons. With over 20 years of experience soothing tiny humans and comforting very sleep-deprived grown-ups, Mrs. Rose has seen every kind of blowout, meltdown, and 3 a.m. panic Google search. Expect hilarious stories, tender moments, and brutally honest reassurance that you’re not a bad parent if you don’t “cherish every second.” If you’ve ever wondered what that cry really means, or just needed someone to tell you you’re doing a great job, this episode is your warm hug and a strong cup of coffee in audio form.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

The one consistent feedback that I always got about Rose was they don't make them like this anymore.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

It's definitely like in her soul that this is just the type of work that she was meant to do.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

And I really felt hands-free. I felt like that weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't feel like that anxiety was there.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

There is a difference between a baby nurse and a gula.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

I didn't cry when my mom left. I will cry when Rose leaves. If you're gonna hire a baby nurse, I for the life of me can't figure out why you wouldn't use them to their full capacity. We just absorbed her as part of the family. The last time I lived was when Rose was living with us. Even when my mom was here, she kept saying, like, yeah, Rose does school in me, man, every other week. I have been with 300 babies. Welcome to Advanced Maternal Age. Real and raw talk from pregnancy, labor, 3 AM trenches, and the messy magic of motherhood.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Fertility conception, surprise turns, and the acronyms no one asked for.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Whether you're tracking your cycle, cuddling a newborn, or figuring out what's next, you're in the right place. I'm a chint. I'm Meredith. We're your co-pilots on this AMA ride. This is advanced maternal age. Hi guys. We have a special guest today. We're excited. Miss Rose Marie, or I call her Miss Rose, because Miss Rosie. Miss Rose, Miss Rosie. And we also have another special guest that refuses to lay down. So we have a lot of special guests today. But we wanted to talk to Rose because she is a baby nurse, been one for over 25 years. And she has a really interesting story of how she became a baby nurse. And also just her personality in general is so like calming and loving. And it really was like, you know, if you ever had to think of a job that was like made for you that you were like put on planet Earth to do, I believe like this is totally like a job for you. Because, you know, some people they do careers and they're passionate about them, but maybe it's not necessarily like in their soul. I feel like for you, like this is like definitely like your soul's purpose to do this type of work. So we both had Rose as our baby nurse. We'll get a little bit more into maybe how we found her. But first, we want Rose to tell us about herself, where you're from. She's originally from Trinidad, so she can get into that and from a whole host of families, a gaggle of kids. She has a lot of brothers and sisters, which is crazy. So yeah, so tell us about yourself, Rose, and why did you become a baby nurse?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Well, I just love babies. I took care of all my children, my nieces, my nephews, my siblings. Right. And you enjoyed it. And I enjoyed it. And I even had a preschool taught in Trinidad before you came to the United States.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

I did um early child education. So tell us how you got into that because I think you were doing something else before that, right? Or did you always get into that? Oh, yeah. I used to look in a hotel, yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

See, yeah. Doing um food and beverage management and all that stuff. Okay. And then my mother, we opened that preschool in the in the in a church. Back to the church. Okay. Help us to open it out and all that. And then she left and leave me to carry on the fort. So I became principal at the school. And we were also affiliated with the primary school. So for my kids, we went there. Okay. We taught I taught from three years, three and a half to five years.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

How many brothers and sisters do you have? Nine. And you are where in that order? I am the second.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Okay. So I took care of the other one, the smaller one.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

What's the age difference between you and the first sibling and you and the second? All one year apart. Oh, wow. It's actually insane.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Like that's being pregnant for a decade.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yeah. Yeah. And her mom is still those moo moo dresses.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Your mom is still like 93, her mom is. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Helped me write my book.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Oh, that's right. So Rose has a book on Amazon. Let's plug the book. What's it called, Rose? The Journey of a Baby Nurse. The Journey of a Baby Nurse. So everyone needs to get it. It's on Amazon. It's all of her tips and tricks. So if you can't have Rose in your home, you can have her in some way if you read her book. It's really good.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

We have been very fortunate to have her because, you know, she comes to our doctor's appointments. She's come to like a lot of different other therapists and healers with us. And like the one consistent trait that or the one consistent feedback I always got about Rose was they don't make them like this anymore. She's like the grandma. She's like a she's like a mother. She's like everything that you they're too clinical, is what I hear.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

I hear that Oh, the other baby nurses are too clear. They're nurses.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

They're too clinical. They're very like dry. It's it's like a you're clocking in for a job, you're doing it like as if you were working at a hospital, that type of thing. And the one thing that, you know, I would always get that feedback about you was, wow, she's she she just has that energy.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Yeah, that's what I mean. It's definitely like in her soul that this is just the type of work that she was meant to do. You're in the United States, born and raised in Trinidad, which is amazing. And I think that that also speaks to it too, is that you just were, you grew up in a different culture, right? Like you grew up in kind of that old school way, which I think is important when you are taking care of babies because there's a lot of new shit right out there. There's a lot of new stuff. And there's especially with social media, we talk about that a lot on the podcast in previous episodes. There's a lot of noise. And maybe some people might be wondering why Achin and I had a baby nurse, even though we are older. Because you know, some people might be thinking, oh, a baby nurse is better if you're a younger mom. But or why you even need one?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

That that was a question I got all the time is what? You gotta you gotta live in nurse. Why? Like you have all this family around.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yeah. So maybe a chint, why don't you say why you felt you wanted to have a baby nurse?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

We've both been fortunate on having this experience, but it was not initially something that I was thinking of. I did hear from a friend of mine. She had become pregnant, and she was talking about night nurses, and you know, they help with all the efforts that you do at night, right? With the wake-up, the feedings and everything. I was kind of early on in my pregnancy, and the way we know each other is through your daughter-in-law. Your daughter-in-law basically presented to me that, hey, by the way, my mother-in-law is a professional baby nurse. She kind of does this situation for a lot of families where, you know, she takes care of the baby. I was like, okay, I don't know if I'll need that or not. Because you were hiring, you already had the postpartum jewel are lined up as well. I was thinking of getting one. I hadn't hired anybody at that point. Okay. But I was like, oh, you know, I think I'll manage, right? I was one of those people, I think I'll manage. My husband works from home. We'll be okay. We have family, we have friends around, things will be fine. And then the more and more I researched it with people who didn't have one, who were getting pregnant later, and some people that did, they were like, oh, that's really helpful. And then I went down the TikTok and social media rabbit holes where people were really advocating for having a night nurse. So you do live in. And when I talked to you, I was like, okay, let me research this a little bit more. And now that I've gone through it, I always say, like, it does not matter how many family members you have, the level of experience you have. I think if you can afford to do and have one or if your insurance can pay for it with work through carrot or whatever, definitely get one because it was more of something that fell into my lap. It was not something that I was thinking of getting.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

And it definitely same for me. So it didn't, it wasn't on my radar because my mom was always gonna come and be around for two and a half months, which she was. But like Rose and I have discussed while she's been with me. So she's still with me now. So she's been with me now almost when it's all done, it will be three months. And I think that the thing I can say is having a professional, it doesn't take away from the advice that you get from your mom or your friends or anybody in your life who maybe have had children before you. She's a professional. So the advice that she gives you, you just take it differently. In postpartum, especially, you could get annoyed with your mom, you can get annoyed with your friends and just be like, oh, fuck off. Like there's no way.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

There's too much commentary. There's too much. There's too much advice sometimes when you have too many people. That's what I sometimes face. Yeah, right. So before Rose ended up, you know, came to work with us.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Right. It's a different story too when you are paying somebody because at the end of the day, you're paying them. Like this is their job, this is what they're good at, this is their expertise. So you should listen to them. I mean, you don't have to, but then respectfully, you're kind of dumb. And I think wasting your money if you don't listen to them.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

No, a hundred percent. And one thing I will say, what I have noticed in my experience with my friends who have had kids in the past few years, parents may remember the baby phase and what they did in the baby phase, but they don't remember the newborn phase. And that newborn phase kind of block it out. Well, you forget it, right? It's been so many years by the time your parents become grandparents that that newborn phase is so vastly different than the average baby phase, the two to three, three to six month phase. It's different developments. That newborn, that first eight to 12 weeks is so, so, so different. Basically, the advice that I was getting from family members and friends didn't seem helpful for that newborn phase. But it really wasn't until Rose came and started working with us that I really felt like, okay, I have somebody that can really truly take care of this child. And I really felt hands-free. I felt like that weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't feel like that anxiety was there.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

With that being said, Rose, like what Ashin just said, the anxiety and all of that. What's the difference, in your opinion, between a baby nurse and a night nurse or even like a postpartum doula? Because we hear all of those terms and they're all very different. So what's the difference?

SPEAKER_01 10:16

No, there is a difference between a baby nurse and a doula. A baby nurse only focuses on the child. The baby. The doula focuses on the the burden mom, the parent, the child, the family. Right. You know, she's the one supposed to cook, clean, and yes, and educate the mother on taking care of the baby.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

But doesn't actually take care of the baby, just trying to help the mom be better at that. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

They are the doula the ones who do that, who cleans, take care of the mother, take care of the father, and even help with his siblings. Oh, okay. Yeah. That is their job.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

I see what my I've heard that phrase that the doula is to mother the mother. So the baby nurse, and like a chin has already mentioned, you're a live-in baby nurse. So when you're there, you work mostly only with a baby.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

And this is why they say some parents, they hire a boat. Right. If they want to have a postpartum doula and a baby nurse to be able to, you know, which is what a chin had. I mean, she did have a postpartum duela, which we had spoken about in a previous episode. And then she did have Rose, but you only had Rose for what, a month?

SPEAKER_00 11:29

I only had Rose for four weeks. Yeah. And that's because that time she was basically booked before and after.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Yeah. I mean, I'm I didn't cry when my mom left. I will cry when Rose leaves.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Oh, my husband. Can I just tell you, my husband? He cried. He was so sad. He was so sad. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Well, you know, if you guys have a second child, I'm sure Rose will come back around for you.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I know. Can I tell you? I've spoken so highly of you to all my friends. And now my friends are like, if we have a second kid, we're gonna use her. And I'm like, as long as we're not pregnant at the same time. You're like without using her.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Yeah, TBD, it might not be available. Okay, so 25 years doing this, or over 25 years, I'm sure you've had lots of crazy stories happen without like, you know, exposing anyone, of course. What is something that's happened in your tenure being a baby nurse that like is memorable? I mean, it could be a funny thing, it could be something cute, it could be maybe something that was a little crazy, but we just we know you've got some good stories.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

I went to this mole once in a lifetime, and she didn't want me to do anything for the baby. I just wanted in um Nashville, I ain't calling her names, but she just wanted to do everything. So I say, Well, why did you hire me for? What was her response? Like she had no response, but because her friend had me.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Right. She felt like she needed you as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Yes, right, but she really didn't. Yeah. Because she wanted a baby baby, she wanted a feedy baby, she wanted to do everything.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

She was a first-time mom. Yes. That's interesting. There is this new phenomenon that I think you told me about on TikTok, which is just in case just in case nannies or just in case baby nurses. And so it's these people who obviously are of a certain wealth, because let me tell you, this isn't a cheap thing. It's definitely a privileged thing. If you're gonna hire a baby nurse, I, for the life of me, can't figure out why you wouldn't use them to their full capacity.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

That's exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

I also think this is just we have the personalities, you and I, where we are very like social people. I feel like Rose is like my husband while she's here. Like we just do everything together.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Like we do, she was more of my mom than I felt like my mom or my mother-in-law or any person could be during that phase.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

I think we both embraced it that way where we just absorbed her as part of the family. Yeah. And I think that's the advice I would give to anybody is like, yes, she is living in your house with you, but don't so it might take you a little bit, but don't treat her like a stranger because the way you're going to bond with the baby at the same time and also utilize her as a baby nurse, like soak up all the advice that she's giving you is to kind of do things with her. But I will say for me, the first month or so, I really didn't like go out of the house much. Maybe just like a walk around the block or something. Now, three months in, when Rose comes, I'm like, Rose, bye. See if I like it.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

This girl's living. This girl's living. I tell my husband all the time, I'm like, Rose comes and home girl is out. I got stuff to do.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

No, let me do it sound like I'm partying.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Right two weeks in, she told me. She's like, you know, you can like go out. And I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Yeah, I encourage moms to go out, go dinner, go have brunch, go out, go do your nails, go do your hair, go do your fingernails.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

You took advantage of me. I know. Yeah. And I mean, but it took me a little while. Now, granted, you only had her for a month. So because I've had her for longer, I think it's I didn't stay by you longer.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Yeah. Uh no, but you know, if that was like a scheduling thing, because we would have kept you right until our delivery.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Yeah, exactly. But it did take me a little bit. And it wasn't because I didn't trust Rose or anything like that. It was just like to that mom's point, the story that you just told, I can see why people might have a hard time like letting go and just especially as a first-time mom, that guilt of being like, oh, but I'm not doing the thing. But listen, if you're putting out that money, yes, use you. This is your job. You're the expert, you know what you're doing. But also, yeah, like work together, be a team. But don't I don't take over babies.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

No. I give mothers their time. You really have. Yes, I do. No, yeah. And you know how much I used to like be like a little like nutty about like, oh my god, I gotta breastfeed, I gotta breastfeed, I gotta breastfeed, I gotta pump. But like she gave me that space. Like, it's all about how much comfort you want. Like for me, I didn't realize at the very beginning that I wasn't feeding my child enough. So then by the time Rose started with me, I was like a little like, oh my god, I gotta get these many feedings a day and I gotta put them on the boob and I can't. Yeah. And you said sleep and give you your time with the baby. Yeah. Do you remember sleep a chant? The last time I lived was when Rose was living with us. My husband and I will both agree. We're like, we miss her, man. We need somebody like that again.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

So, what are some tips that you could give the listeners? Either they're first-time parents or maybe they're having more kids, maybe they're not the first time, but just some tips that you think could help make their first weeks at home like a little bit easier. It doesn't have to be a product, it could be a product, but it also could just be like something that they should do.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

All right. Well, first of all, you don't use the wipes only hospital. Right. That's terrible. Oh, yes. And got bruised up our and tushy. Yeah, yeah. By the cotton balls, the bigger ones.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

The cotton rounds, like the stuff that you use to clean your makeup.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

That too, yes. Yeah, use that in some nice warm water and it clean there with that. Just water. A few weeks, goodbye. And I learned it did the tootsie. What is it? The whoopsies. Whoopsie wipes.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Whoopsie should sponsor us.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

They're a big I love those. No, I use them for everything. I recommend that. I recommend that for all mothers. Yeah, whoopsi is a great wipe. Notice some warm water and wipers under his neck. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

You can use whoopsies for a lot of things. They're a dry wipe. For people don't know what they are, they're a dry wipe. If you have a boy, they're really good because you can use that as a little tent for their genitals so they don't pee all over you when you're like transporting them to the bath or something. But they're a dry wipe, so you can use them dry or you can get them wet, like Rose is saying, when you first bring them home the first month, you know, they don't have they eat and they poop, they eat and they poop. So which is like a lot of jiper changes. Even though we were only using like the water wipes and the honest sensitive, but there's always some alcohol in those wipes.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

So the water wipes has only grapefruit extract, but all the other ones, like I've looked at every single one of them now. They all have the tiniest trace amounts of different alcohols. Because they have to to keep it sanitized. Yeah. And so my my mom, because my my child had like the worst diaper ash on the planet, almost went to the ear twice, like insane. She was like broken skin diaper ash. Yeah. It's a fungal infection, you name it. It was there. So she was like, No, there's something wrong with the wipes. They definitely have alcohol. I was like, no, they're natural, blah, blah, blah. No, she was right.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Yeah. So I definitely think that's a really good tip. I agree with you. And we did that because of what happened with the chin son. With my son, we did that right away. So we had just using the water with like the cotton rounds. So that's a good tip. What's another tip that you have?

SPEAKER_00 18:36

What's like uh if you could list like top three do's in the newborn phase and top three don'ts?

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Those are unique, um, the cotton balls, the saline unique tips, the nose, yeah. And always make sure you clean behind the ears. Oh, clean the tongue. And the tongue. Right. And then you said the neck, the neck, the neck, the neck.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Because they're always like dribbling and drooling.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

You have a smell behind you, smell no body smelling. It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

You know what's a good tip also that that postpartum duelist shared as well is take some warm ghee, and it's ghee because it's neutral, and then you rub them, and it actually will take off like the dirt and everything that's collected.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah, it'll like come off. Like, you know, when they get the stuff in their like little hands and their feet, like the little lint, and like just make sure you're wiping it off.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Don't leave, don't leave your baby buttered.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Yeah. No, you do it before they take a bath. The next tip is when they take the bath, make sure they're dry properly.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Right. Make sure they drive in between toes. The rose. We had a little bit of a situation with Aiden's uh feet getting a little uh like red and like flaky. So we think it's because maybe the hit the moisture. Because you know we're in the winter, so he's always wearing socks. And the next thing is take out socks sometimes and let them be free. They need to feel a little like smelly smelly, but also they need to feel the different textures. They do need to feel like tummy time, take out their socks. Is you have a don'ts?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Don't use the wipes from the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Don't use the wipes.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Again, that's the second time.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

I think it's the third time, actually. Don't use the wipes from the hospital or wipes, period, for the first month.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

And don't hit them to bove them too hard.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Rub. That is true. To rub in the back and then rub kind of on their sacrum, like right by their bum. Don't lift them up high to wipe their tushy. Roll them. Oh, right. Don't grab their legs like chickens, just roll them over because it messes up with their feet. Even when my mom was here, she kept saying, like, yeah, Rose, she's schooling me, man. Like, because she would tell my mom, like, no, don't do that. Don't grab them like that. You know, so it just goes to show that even my mom, who had four kids, there's something to learn.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Yeah, because everything changes.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

What's really impressive is that you have been doing this for so long and you've seen so much stuff.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

And it's changing, and still I am moving with it.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Yes, yeah, I am moving with the changes. Yeah. Rose is proof you can teach an old dog a new trick. Yeah. So tell us what's one thing you wish every parent knew.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

That all kids, they their characteristics are the same. They develop the same way. You sucking at the finger, everything they develop the same way, but they still are different. Right. Different, every child is unique. Right. Every child is unique.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

So don't compare your experience with somebody else, or even if you've had more than one kid. Right. Just because one kid was maybe a great sleeper doesn't mean your next one will be. Or maybe your first experience, you had a really colicky baby. You're saying it doesn't mean that the next baby will be the same. And do you think that it's more beneficial to have a baby nurse when you're a first time mom? Or it doesn't matter?

SPEAKER_01 21:49

No, it is better to have a baby nurse to teach you, educate you, and you know, help help you.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

No, but every time, or like would do you think it's better like? Like how you had that one, that one family that had you even the second time. Do you feel like it's it's helpful to have it every time?

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Probably because right, the second time, like you mentioned, other clients, they then you have another kid. So maybe there's like a nanny, or maybe the parents are primarily taking care of that other kid, and then they're able to let you help with the baby. The baby, yeah. Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

So I could see the benefits of a nanny will help with the bigger child.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Right, right. Or if they don't have a nanny, but the parents can focus on the older child and you're able to help with the baby.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

How do you support, or how do you feel like baby nurses support a parent's mental and physical and emotional health in addition to just being there for the baby only?

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Well, you kind of supporting the mother spiritual, I mean physically, talking to them, guiding them, telling them it you you are not the first and you're the last.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

My first month postpartum was hard because I had my complication, which I spoke about in my birth story episode. So it wasn't just recovering from a C-section. For me, I was also recovering from having the small bowels obstruction. So there were definitely days where I was still in the first month very weak, a lot more tired than maybe I normally would be. I, like I spoke about before, was unfortunately not able to continue breastfeeding because of what happened to me. So there were days definitely where Rose saw me and I was just very, very sad. Like what I am now. Yeah, what I am now versus where I was when she was first with me is now I'm more like me. But in the beginning, I was very sad all the time. I was like, I would just start crying on the couch. And you know, she was just always like there, but she wasn't like intrusive, like you weren't like in my business, but you were just very much like there and like comforting. And even if it was just like watching a movie at night together or something. Yeah, I think like just knowing that I wasn't alone was helpful.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Because I used to tell me that um, you know, you feed you alone going through the process when you breastfeed and I said, No, other mothers have the same problem too. So that that alone is encouragement for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Yeah, so that is not only you going through that day pain, they went through the same thing. I would like to complain to her all the time as if I was the only person going through this pain. And she's like, No, I've seen so many moms. And it was helpful because my mother did not really breastfeed for that long. Right. So having to go through those things and explaining it, and even people in my family, they didn't experience the thrush and the breast that I did. They didn't experience the ducts, the mil the clogged milk blebs. Oh, that was so painful. And then then I got mastitis after you left, right? Right. So I've had to go through everything that they warn you about about breastfeeding, I've experienced. But when I was going through that, there was nobody even that I could talk to that. I found a friend after you left that was talking to me about it, but I couldn't really share that experience. So it was nice to hear her tell me, no, the last person or the time before that, I had this one lady. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

No, I think it's just comforting.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

And so even my postpartum anxiety and rage was so bad. And it was, I kept on telling people it's so specifically linked to this diaper rash that is not going away. Because you just felt hopeless. I just did, and we he was on like very strong medications for so long. She knows she's gone to the doctor's office and stuff, and it just was never ending. And but when she came, it was even like the fact that I knew that she had taken care of so many babies, and she has seen the rashes, she's seen the oral thrush, she's seen this. But she came in, and like the day that she came in, I'm telling you, like the anxiety became like everything left. Everything left. And I was telling people, oh my god, I'm feeling so much better. My duo was checking in, my birthing duo was checking in on me to be like, Are you still okay? Do you need help?

SPEAKER_01 25:57

On your face, everything was different.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Everything. I was just like, oh man, like somebody is there to really take care of my child in a way that I don't even think I could have been there for him because my anxiety and my rage was kind of blocking that.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Yeah, you can't put a price on that for sure. I would say my two big things of why I'm really happy that I've had Rose in my life is I'm gonna like cry. So my god.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

I know. I'm gonna get emotional.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

So the second to last week, Meredith, this with I know the countdown has begun.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Two things. One is the doctor's visits. So her going to most of all of my doctor's visits, she's come with us. And that's been really great because even though like me and his dad are there, it's also great to have somebody who has been obviously through it with her own kids, her grandkids, her nieces, her nephews, and then all of her clients. It's just like a comforting thing because she'll like ask things, or she also the pediatrician, I think, appreciates her being there because the pediatrician can also ask her questions that maybe she's observed, you know, because they're always asking those developmental milestones, right? So that's just been really great, similar to what you say, like just kind of a weight lifted off of you. You don't feel as much pressure. And then the other thing really has been when I got better physically and mentally, like my second and now third month in getting into postpartum almost, just being able to leave and like do my errands or do go to the gym and go and, you know, do my nails, do whatever I want to do, even if it is going out. I mean, I like to take him with me to like go and you know see friends, but the ability to just be able to do those things during the days that she is here, you can't put a price on it because it really just makes you just feel more human. And I was actually thinking about it today. I'm trying not to like scare myself, but I was thinking about it today, thinking like, oh my gosh, in a couple of weeks' time, I'm just gonna have to figure out how to like do all of these things without having her. And I'll figure it out, but it's gonna be hard because I'm gonna have to just take him everywhere I go.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Well, there's no option. And this is the thing, right? Like with the three to six month phase, they get more active, they start seeing better, they get distracted, they do all of these things that you have never experienced in the newborn phase. And you're like, oh, this baby's like really changing and really growing, and they're like learning all these new things, and you never really know what's going on. And like she's not there.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

What is your ideal time? Like, if someone were to ask you how long ideally is best to have you, what would you say? Like five months, three months, three months is ideal. Okay, so 90 days is ideal.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

You know, the best thing about, and I don't think every live-in nurse, and or definitely not the nice nurse, but if you have a live-in nurse, because she lives with us 24 hours a day, the best thing about what Rose did, and I advise this if you're gonna be looking for a nurse, is ask them about scheduling and spacing out feedings and everything, because that was a really, really big help for me. And she's like, kind of put your son also on like that schedule every three hours. He's not clustering.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Right. He had a little, I mean, babies will cluster, right? Because it's just who they it's part of their growing process. But I think as much as you can get on a quote unquote schedule within three months, I think we've done a pretty good job. I'm about to mess it all up by going on a vacation for two weeks, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

You can figure it out after because but like I will say, so when Rose started working with us, my baby was like four weeks. Starting at that phase, we put them on a bedtime schedule and timing. And that has kept, okay? So we have stayed on that schedule.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

I forgot about that. So that's different between that's a big difference between you and me. Your son was already a month old. Mine, Rose was there from like day six. Yeah. So that was a very different experience. So that's a question back to you, Rose. If someone were to ask you, what's the best time for you to come in from birth is best. So you're saying from do birth for me. Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

It was a scheduling issue.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

A scheduling issue, but ideally from birth to three months is the ideal time.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

But I will say, if you can like me, I didn't have that. So even if you don't have that circumstance, if you have the opportunity and if you have the luxury and if you have the financial backing to do it, I would still say do it.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Last note I want to leave before I say before I leave. You 25 years that I've been working as a baby nurse, I have been with 300 babies. Wow. 300? Was like eight to eighty. Now is about 300.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Oh my Honestly, Rose has been a saving grace for both a chant and I, and we would definitely recommend a baby nurse to anyone. Obviously, if you're in the New York, New Jersey, metropolitan area. Well, even if you're not, actually, because she travels, she'll go to California, she goes, she's gone to other states.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Remember, we're trying to keep her local.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Well, that's true. I mean, we're trying to let her go easy into retirement. But listen, if you want her badly enough, she has gone to other states before Texas, Tennessee, Florida, Italy, Italy. She's going to Greece with a family. Mention the podcast, she'll give you guys a discount. No, but truly, I think it's one of those things where yes, it's a luxury. I think we've said that already a few times. We acknowledge that. I don't want people listening to this podcast, like, I'm sure there's some people maybe rolling their eyes, like, okay, yeah, but what if you can't afford it? And it's true. Listen, we're both blessed to be able to afford it. But if you can afford it, I would say it's one of those things. Listen, ask for money donations in your baby shower for a baby.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

I have seen that. I have seen that. Well, thank you so much, Rose. We had so much fun with you.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you for we know we're your favorite clients. You don't have to say it.